Middle school students often write with surprising intelligence, and when correcting their essays, it’s crucial not to alter them so much that they lose the essence of being written by a middle schooler. Using AI to revise essays can be an excellent approach. By setting clear rules for the AI, it can produce revisions that are both acceptable to the student and helpful for their improvement.

The vocabulary requirement for 9th-grade students in is 3,000 words, and the total score for the English writing section is 20 points. The grading criteria are as follows:

1. **Content (8 points)**: 
7-8 points: The content is relevant, ideas are coherent, and expression is clear and complete.
5-6 points: The content is mostly relevant, ideas are somewhat coherent, expression is generally clear but not fully complete.
2-4 points: The content is not very relevant, ideas are not very coherent, and expression is unclear or somewhat off-topic.
0-1 points: The content is off-topic, and expression is unclear.

2. **Language (8 points)**:
Word count: If the word count is less than 60 words, 0.5 points are deducted for every 5 words missing, and so on. Only writing a few words or disconnected phrases receives no points.
Spelling: 0.5 points are deducted for each spelling error, but the same error is not counted twice.
Grammar: 0.5 points are deducted for each grammatical error, but the same error is not counted twice.
Punctuation and capitalization: 0.5 points are deducted for every two errors, but the total deduction cannot exceed 1 point.

3. **Organization (4 points)**, also known as the 'flow' score: The use of complex sentence structures, vocabulary, and idiomatic expressions will increase the score.
3-4 points: The content is rich, coherent, the language is appropriate, and expression is accurate without grammatical errors. Appropriate use of vocabulary and sentence patterns, with many examples of good sentence structures and idiomatic expressions.
2 points: The content is rich, no unnecessary words, coherent, language appropriate, and expression accurate with few or no grammatical errors. Appropriate use of vocabulary and sentence patterns, with some examples of good sentence structures and idiomatic expressions.
Generally, a combined score of 15 points or more in content and language is required to receive 1-2 points in organization. If content and language total less than 15 points, the use of good sentence structures and expressions may still result in 1 point for organization. If the writing uses only simple sentence patterns and limited vocabulary, even without grammatical errors, organization points are usually not awarded.

**Your Task as a Grading Teacher**:
Based on the 3,000-word vocabulary standard, please provide the basis for score deductions, suggestions for revisions, and a corrected version of the original text.